As some of you may know, I read a lot. I read most everything, including spy novels, crime novels, biographies, sports novels, and even kid’s books. The only thing I don’t read is romance novels, like the Bridgerton series. All this reading tends to color my view of things and sometimes causes me to imagine our trips differently than they might have actually occurred.
You watch the Bridgerton series on Netflix though.
That’s different! Gentle reader, may I introduce to you, the Voice of Reality. Played by none other than the famous, M.
I’m not famous.
You can probably guess where this is going, but here is an alternate version of our trip to Paris, which hopefully you will have read about before reading this version, as I do not want anyone to be confused. Also, the names in this story have not been changed to protect anyone, nor were any animals harmed in the writing of this story.
It was around 5 p.m. in early December, 2023, when I set out for the bus stop. A blizzard was causing havoc in the village of Le Tour. The bus stop I needed to get to is 150m away from our front door, uphill. Through the snow. I knew that I could make it if I put my mind to it.
My mother could have made it, and she needs a new hip.
That may be so, but your mom is tougher than shoe leather.
I made it to the bus just before the doors were closing.
You got there 10 minutes early and had to wait in the blizzard.
I got off the bus at the Montroc train station, where I carefully surveilled the area for any signs of trouble. It appeared that everything was safe, so I made my way over to the proper platform.
You were the only person there and you were 25 minutes early. I am pretty sure everything was fine.
I have trained myself to be hyper-aware.
The only thing you are hyper-aware of is your stomach.
I have a high metabolism!
I boarded the train in Montroc and put my mind into Yellow mode, so I could relax a little before arriving in Martigny. Yellow mode is one of the states of awareness. White mode is when one is completely unaware of their surroundings due to sleep or some other distraction. Yellow mode is the next step up from White mode, and means that one is relaxed, but aware of what is going on around them. Orange mode follows Yellow mode, and is a heightened state of awareness and activation of the senses. Red mode follows Orange and is typically known as fight, flight or freeze status. Being in Red mode means that one is ready to do what is necessary to survive.
I’m starting to feel like I need a commode. You probably fell asleep and were lucky to wake up when the train stopped in Martigny.
I’m simply explaining to the reader the states of awareness.
The train trip from Montroc to Martigny went smoothly. It was a lovely evening for train travel, with the snow falling and Christmas lights in the little villages along the way. I felt as though I were riding through a child’s Christmas book.
Once I made it to Martigny, I hustled to the next platform and boarded the first class section of my train to Geneva. The valet stowed my luggage, while the concierge showed me to my plush leather seat, where an ice bucket with a fine Cordon Bleu ’22 awaited me.
You hustled a whole 50 feet? Also, there is no valet, or concierge, or any leather seats in the first class cars of the train. And you don’t drink.
True, but it sounds better than simply saying first class is quieter and has more leg room.
A couple of hours later, with Swiss-like precision, the train pulled into the Geneva airport station where I disembarked. I was staying at the five-star, Ibis Budget Geneva Palexpo hotel. I had arranged for the hotel Rolls Royce to drive me to the hotel, but I received a text telling me that the hotel car had a flat. This was disappointing to say the least, as the journey from the train station to the hotel is quite far, and it was freezing cold.
It’s not a five-star hotel, the clue is in the name. And a 10 minute walk to the hotel is quite far?
I did have 2 bags to pull along and it was freezing cold!
During my walk to the hotel, I noticed that the musical “Les Miserables” was coming to the Palexpo center the following October. I knew M would like to see the play as much as I would, so I planned to write down the information when I got to the hotel. However, it was dinner time, and I was hungry and therefore forgot about “Les Miserables” and anything else that didn’t involve me getting food.
The only thing that could have possibly distracted you more than your stomach would have been a bikini clad swimsuit model walking in front of you to the hotel.
Oh yeah! I forgot about her. She was doing that silly runway model walk and going too slow, so I had to pass her because it was dinner time.
I got to my room and scrolled through the UberEats app to find some food that I could have delivered to the hotel. Lucky for me, there is a 5 Guys in Geneva, so I ordered a burger and fries.
Lucky for you you’ve been saving your allowance since it cost about 10 times more than it should have!
There were a lot of fries though, and it’s Switzerland. Duh!
Moving right along, about 9 or 10 months later, the topic of musicals came up again when M and I were talking to our neighbor Rachel. Rachel said that she, her husband Dave, and her son Callum would like to see “Les Miserables” as well. After further planning and logistical magic by me, we had a plan to meet up with Rachel and her family to see “Les Miserables.” The only difference from my original plan, was that this showing of “Les Mis” was in Paris, not Geneva.
I did all the planning. Your only assignment was finding places to eat that had gluten-free food.
I did a great job too!
The day of our trip to Paris finally arrived in January of 2025. M and I took the TGV train from Geneva to Paris. The TGV is really nice because it connects to most of the major cities in Europe and even goes to London via the Channel Tunnel, or Chunnel, as it is known.
M and I arrived in Paris and made our way to the hotel we had chosen for our stay.
What’s this “we” stuff?
Well, I did search the general area for hotels before handing the job over to my capable assistant.
Everyone reading this knows who the real assistant is. He writes a silly blog and reaches things that are on high shelves.
Don’t forget that I can also stir really well!
We met Rachel, Dave and Callum at an Italian restaurant for dinner before the play. I had a fantastic pasta carbonara. The only issue was that it was about 1/3 the amount of what I would have normally eaten and after a day of traveling, I was hungry to say the least.
When was the last time you were not hungry?
1974.
After dinner, we walked to the theater, passing through a large shopping area with many different stores. One of the largest stores was a Krispy Kreme Donut shop. I had not seen a Krispy Kreme as big as the one in Paris. I hoped that they had some Americans there to show the French how to make a proper donut, because as the Voice of Reality will tell you, if there is one thing the French do not know how to make, it is a donut.
One of the more factual things you’ve written so far.
We had excellent seats for “Les Mis.” We could clearly see the stage as well as a screen showing the lyrics in both French and English, as they were sung. It was interesting to see how the wording changed depending on the language, but the songs were all the same as the American/English version of the play.
Everyone in our group enjoyed the play, and I was the only one who remained strong, and did not shed a single tear during the show.
You practically needed a box of tissues.
Allergies.
After a few more days of guided tours and catered dining, M and I returned home feeling that we had gotten our money’s worth from the big city. It was a wonderful trip, and I think we will do some research to see if there is anything else to see in Paris, like a museum or cool architecture or something along those lines, so we can go back and visit again some day.
You followed me around because you can’t read Google maps correctly. As far as catered dining goes, I guess you are referring to the fact that we ate at restaurants, where catering to people is kind of the point.
C’est la vie!
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